Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Seven-sentence story -first revision-

Thanks to everyone that posted comments about my last story idea - it really helped me figure out where the weak spots were and give them some serious thought. I've come to the realization that I might have to revise the story completely, so that I can focus more on one or two solid characters instead of having such a broad focus.

I talked some things over with Tom, and he threw a couple ideas at me about my current story. He suggested I create more of a conscience struggle with the character rather than making his choice so easily black and white, so I gave them a shot and tweaked the story to fit with the ideas to see how it turned out.

1. A messenger boy is given an important task by his delivery guild to deliver important sealed messages to all of the villages in a nearby valley along with a message to be delivered to the sister city on the other side of the valley.
2. The first village he visits is occupied by a race of small and belligerent creates who mistreat him as he walks through, but as he delivers the first letter to their leader their reaction is extremely negative and they drive him from the village.
3. Curious about why he was treated so poorly, the messenger disobeys his duty and takes a look at the contents of what he is to deliver - which turns out to be an order to stay in their homes for an undisclosed period of time.
4. Not really understanding the purpose behind the order, he continues to travel from town to town delivering the notes, being treated poorly every time and having it always end the same as when he delivered the first.
5. Finally fed up, he rips open the final sealed message in frustration and finds a shocking order from his city to exterminate the valley - and the notes to the villagers were to simplify the process.
6. Part of him feels that the villagers deserve the punishment for mistreating him so badly for only doing his job, but he is reminded of how he was raised by his mother to respect life in all forms.
7. He finally decides to side with his conscience and destroy the rest of the messages in an attempt to save the villagers from an undeserving death.

Considering the workload I might be looking at for less-important characters (modeling, rigging, texture painting, etc.), I'm considering scrapping the current plot idea all together. I'm thinking of something a little more 'personal' that involves direct interactions between the messenger and a thief (just using the thief as a quick example. I haven't actually come up with anything solid).

1 comment:

Jon said...

Hey Paul,
I just wanted to say the revision to the story is better and more solid. The one part that I keep coming back to is why he detroys the letters? I understand he's trying to keep the government away or diruspt their plans, but I was thinking that if they had these plans they would carry them out regardless if their are tenants there or not. Especially when it seems like a ruthless government who kicks people out of their homes. I just felt te reslution could be stronger.

I do agree about your workload with the number of charcters. If you do change/ alter the story let me know I'd like to hear what you are thinking about.

In regards to a different plot I'm trying to thik off the top of my head certain conflicts that happen to delivery people.
1. set up by criminal organization to deliver their goods
2. peoples pets ( I think you could have a very intersting story where this delivary character has to find away around this weird pet (maybe).
3. There is always the love interest, delivering to a female he likes
4. Delivering to a strange place (invisible house, weird mansion)
5. a strange letter that comes to life (?)
6. a mail monster the eats letters, packages and what not (could potentialy have a funny twisted ending)
7. little creatures in trees that taunt delivary people

I think the possibilities are endless, but I really like your character and he has a lot of potential. Whatever you decide I'm sure it will be amazing.