1. A messenger in a very busy city is given a very important sealed message to deliver to a nation beyond the valley along with a few smaller letters to be delivered to villages along the way
2. He resists the urge to peek at the curious contents and sets off towards his destination
3. During his trip, he travels through the villages and meets lots of friendly people, leaving each letter for them as he leaves
4. Just before leaving one of the villages, he is approached by a messenger from one of the previous villages, telling him of contents of the letters he has been delivering
5. Curiosity overtakes him and he unseals the important sealed letter, discovering plans to wipe out the valley containing all of the villages he had just visited
6. Torn between his duty and his morals, he travels alone in thought
7. Ultimately he decides not to complete his task, giving up his job as a messenger forever to live in the valley with the other villagers
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2 comments:
Paul, I love this idea you have for the story, especially the part about the internal struggle with the main character. At this point there is one part I don't quite get and I assume it will come with the details later, but it's the vollager that tells him about the letters. I'm not quite sure what he says that sparks the curiousity to open the other main letter. I believe that part could be strengthened somhow.
Knowing you, I'm sure you have some sort of imaginative concept for this character and the world he lives in, which I think would help to better understand the story.
Another thing is, I think the conflict and climax hit so suddenly with a fast resolution (at lest in this 7 sentence form), but I do beleive the internal conflict could start sooner and then build which would also strengthen the story more.
My other concern is the animation of the villagers and I was wondering to make it easier on yourself and to better show the internal struggle, if the main letter could almost be a secondary character and he could keep looking at it and it eats away at him. The other possibility is that their could be issues along the delivery route that eat away at his curiosity to open the letter.
Other than that I like the ending, but I think it's a matter of figuring out how to get their logically, and in a way the makes for a deep internal conflict.
I must say, the story seems to have a distinct and easy to find conflict, climax and conclusion. The internal struggle of the main character makes him believable and can be related to that of mankind.
This draws a few questions and concerns. I am having a hard time understanding the premise behind the story though. I keep wanting to accept :"dont shoot the mesenger" or even "man's struggle versus good and evil". But i am having a difficult time accepting the ending of the story if either of these are the case. Would the messenger do something in retribution to the message company for their desire to kill the inhabitants? is there a reason behind the messenger companies desire to wipe out the population?
I was trying to relate what I would do in a similar situation, and one of the conclusions were not to quit the messenger company and live amongst the inhabitants. Frankly, that would scare the hell out of me especially since the companies desire is to wipe them out.
Either way, this story has a lot of potential. I just think the conclusion and reason behind the comapnies destructive desire would greatly strengthen your story.
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